Sunday, November 1, 2009

Zombieland to Mandoland

In Zombieland, Columbus has 32 rules to avoid a typical horror movie death. I think most of these rules apply to Mandoland as well, especially when the time comes to go and stage, and you have to nut up or shut up. I'm only going to allow actual rules from the movie here, so of course many are missing that you can fill in.

Rule 1: Cardio. Practice. A lot.

Rule 2: Doubletap. Always end your break clean, and end the song clean.

Rule 3: Beware of Bathrooms. Avoid getting stuck in any small space where you're not developing your talents.

Rule 4: Seatbelts. You should always take sensible precautions, such as having your set list, making sure you have a spare set of strings, and anything else you will need on stage.

Rule 7: Travel Light. Don't do more than you need to. Never take an octave mandolin to a ukulele gig. Don't take a Chris Thile concerto to a Carter Family gig.

Rule 17: Don't Be A Hero. It's just not worth it. Play what you can play well, save the rest for your practice room. But when the time comes and you're ready, of course, go ahead and be a hero.

Rule 18: Limber Up. It's what the warm-up room is for.

Rule 22: When In Doubt, Know Your Way Out. When you start going into an improvisation, you should always have an exit strategy or fallback position in case it doesn't work out.

Rule 31: Check The Back Seat. Expect the unexpected. Be ready for when your buddy suddenly plays the wrong chords, the mics cut out, your strings break, etc. etc.

Rule 32: Enjoy The Little Things. Because that's all there is.

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